


The Reluctant Heichou Chronicles

by Fruking_awesome



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Canon Non-Binary Character, Character's Name Spelled as Jaeger, Character's name spelled as Hange, I wrote the first three when I was 13 so don't judge me, I'm begging you, I'm probably going to re-write them, M/M, Maybe - Freeform, Non-Binary Hange Zoë, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Rating might go up?, Some of these are shippy and some aren't, Unbeta'ed, idk yet, lol I lied I did minor revisions on the chapters, please
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-10
Updated: 2018-08-20
Packaged: 2019-06-25 12:27:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15640755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fruking_awesome/pseuds/Fruking_awesome
Summary: Just a bunch of little drabbles revolving around the Survey Corps and their various shenanigans, some will be shippy, some won't. The first three are from my fanfiction.net account that I would no longer poke with a ten foot pole but they're not a total disgrace so I'm bringing them over here. Most of them aren't connected, but I let you know if they are. So far, the only character death is in chapter 3, and it's not violent or explicit at all.





	1. Fireflies

**Author's Note:**

> In which there are fireflies, Levi feels like a dick (but he fixes it), and Eren cries. I don't own any Attack on Titan characters.

Levi looked down into the pleading eyes of his subordinate. "No. Absolutely not." Eren's bottom lip quivered. "Please, Heichou. Please?" Levi's head shook. He could feel his resolve melting away like warmed butter. Eren continued to stare pleadingly at his commanding officer. "Fine. I'll go, brat, but you'll clean the castle for this, understand me?" Eren's face broke into a wide grin, and Levi thought the young boy may need to turn into a titan to keep it from ripping his face in two. "Thank you, thank you, thank you, Heichou! You're the best!" With that, the young boy sprinted off as Levi strode back to his quarters, all the while attempting to hide the smile threatening to break out on the normally stoic corporal's face.

"Look, Heichou! Fireflies! All over!"

Eren broke away from the older man to chase after one of the glowing bugs. Levi rolled his eyes at Eren's childish display. "Jaeger, will you stop that? I thought we were catching fireflies, not terrorizing them." Eren pouted, and then produced two jars from the satchel he'd dropped when he had started "terrorizing" the fireflies. He handed one to the reluctant ravenette, while keeping one for himself. With a smile and a nod, Eren headed off to one corner of the small field, while Levi headed off to the opposite one.

Eren leapt up into the air for the fifth time, missing yet another firefly. Levi had spent the past hour observing the phosphorescent creatures (and Eren), and every time he looked over at the brat, Eren would miss the firefly he was attempting to capture, and was beginning to get obviously disappointed. Levi stood from the crouch he was in and strode softly over to the gently sloping hill the boy was standing on. "What's wrong, Jaeger? Can't catch any fireflies?" Eren looked over, his arms dropping to the side with the jar hanging limply in his fingers. "Of course I can! I-I just... haven't done this... in a while..."

Levi was puzzled. Why was the brat getting upset? He sat down, the brunette following suit. "Really? Because it looks to me like you've never done this before, based the results you're getting."

Levi stood, spun on his heel, and walked a couple of steps in front of Eren, staring out at the luminescent field, until he heard a strange sound, one he never would have expected to hear from his brat in a situation like this- the sound of a muffled and very quiet sob. Levi looked over his shoulder surreptitiously- and sure enough, a large tear slid down Eren's cheek. Levi stalked down the hill, jar in hand, feeling like shit. He hadn't meant to make the brat cry, just taunt him a little, get him worked up... perhaps even to the point that Eren would tackle him, and tackling meant touching. Levi had long ago admitted to himself that he had a soft spot for the younger boy...  
Spotting a glowing insect in the distance, Levi stalked toward it, jar open and ready. At the last second, he pounced and captured the ember-like bug in the jar, then turned and walked back towards the still-tearful Eren. "Hey, brat. Hey, look, I got one." Levi knelt and held the captive spark up so Eren could see it. "See?" Eren nodded, and the tears began to dampen his cheeks at an even faster pace. "Brat?" Levi began to get somewhat frantic- why wouldn't Eren stop crying? "O-oi! Stop crying! I caught a firefly for both of-" Levi cut off as Eren launched himself at Levi, latching onto him, hugging tightly, “Tch!” Levi didn't even grimace as he felt Eren's warm tears begin to soak into his shirt. Levi dropped the firefly in the grass, favoring hugging the sobbing boy back. "I-I'm sorry, H-Heichou... I... the last time... my mom... she used to take me firefly catching... and she always caught one for us, s-since I usually... couldn't catch one..."

Levi felt like a dick. An absolute and total dick. His brat wanted to share something special with him and he probably ruined it for the kid... Levi was forcibly dragged from his thoughts when Eren tucked his head into Levi's neck. "Heichou... thank you..." Levi almost recoiled in surprise. "What? Why?" Eren looked up at him, an almost goofy grin on his face. "'Coz now I've gone firefly catching with my two most special people..."

Levi's heart beat faster. Did Eren feel the same way he did? There was... no way... besides, Eren was still a brat, there was at least a fifteen year age difference, and... lips. Pressed to his. Soft, warm, tender... The lips of his brat were against his own... The kiss was sweet and innocent, unlike so much else in this world. Levi was astounded. The brat... his brat... no, his Eren was kissing him… 

When they finally pulled apart, Eren was panting lightly. "Heichou... I need to tell you something..."Levi nodded. "Me too. You go first." Eren took a deep breath. "Heichou... I like you... a lot... I always have..." Levi nodded. "I know you probably don't feel the same-!" Levi kissed Eren, softly, slowly, and passionately while slowly lowering Eren onto the grassy ground. When they broke apart, Levi lay next to the boy on the grass, carefully twining their fingers. "Who said I didn't?" Levi could hear the joyous grin break out on Eren's face once more. "H-Heichou...? Will you... go out with me?" Levi smiled and kissed Eren on the cheek. "Of course, brat... Did you think I'd say no?"

And with that, the new couple cuddled up next to each other, surrounded by fireflies, under the stars.


	2. Port-a-potty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was actually inspired by my reaction to my friend telling me that they only had Port-a-Potties at the campground we spent the weekend at (Pennsic, if anybody knows it... It's in Pennsylvania) and me kinda freaking out and going, "Ewww, no, please tell me you don't have JUST Port-a-Potties..." And her going, "Oh, come on..." Well, they were pretty clean... For a plastic box of doom with a cesspool of shit and piss under it... Well, have fun reading!

Levi was gasping for air. He was laughing so hard he couldn't even breathe. "Brat, you're shitting me... Right? You can't actually expect me to fucking use this, right?" Eren frowned. "Levi, why would I be kidding...? We're camping. You're lucky they even have Port-a-Potties. Usually campsites don't even have Port-a-Potties; you piss in the bushes and you like it."  
Levi made a face. "Piss in that thing or piss in the bushes? You shitty brat, why did I let you talk me into this fucking camping trip?" Eren grimaced. "You said you wouldn't go obsessive-compulsive-germophobe-clean this time..."

Levi harrumphed and stomped away from the repulsive blue plastic box. Sitting himself down on a 'clean enough' tree stump, he crossed his legs and pouted. He refused to use a disgusting plastic piss-pot, and he refused to piss in the bushes like an animal. 'Either way,' he figured, 'I'm fucked over.' He turned toward Eren, who was busy setting up the tent. He stomped over to him. "Give me the keys, brat." Eren looked up. "Why...?" Levi rolled his eyes, "Because I told you to." Eren let out an exasperated sigh, "Yes, but why do you need them?"

Levi hoped Eren wouldn't ask him that. There was no way that Eren wouldn't object to the shorter man taking his car to the nearest civilized town, just to find a restaurant to take a piss in. Eren didn't make much money, and Levi knew it. "Nevermind, you fucking brat." Eren looked away, puzzled. "You wanted to borrow my car to go to town, didn't-" Levi's glare silenced the younger boy immediately.

Levi awoke with a start. "Fuck, what time is it?" He mumbled to himself, not wanting to wake the sleeping Eren next to him. He checked his (thankfully) glow-in-the-dark camping watch he had bought two days before: 1:24 AM. Levi glared at the insolent piece of jewelry on his wrist. How dare it wake him up so early? He snarled inwardly. Then it occurred to him; the fucking icing on the cake. After drinking at least three bottles of water during the day, he had to pee. Badly. Especially after not using a Port-a-Potty. All day. "Great. Fucking wonderful."

Levi approached the plastic toilet. The thing loomed over him, almost seeming to be moments away from a leap, ready to attack him. He picked up a nearby stick. Poke. Poke, poke. Well, the stick didn't melt on contact. Levi opened the door, flinching away almost immediately at the stench. He wasn't surprised it stank, it was, quite literally, a cesspool of human filth. He grimaced, held his breath, and entered the box of doom.

Levi strode back to the tent as quickly as he could. He unzipped the door and began to rummage around in his suitcase, making a mental note to wash it upon his arrival back home. He found his toiletry bag, and stood up, making his way to the door. "Levi...? Is that you...?"  
Levi face-palmed. "It's me, Eren, go back to bed." A shuffling sound was heard as Eren rolled over in his sleeping bag, "What... What are you doing up?" Levi sighed. "If you really must know, I'm going to take a shower." Eren rolled back over. "Fine... Don't trip on a rock, ok?"

Levi fidgeted, almost feeling the germs crawling on him. "I can assure you that I will not. I'll be back soon." With that, he left the tent. Head buried in his pillow, Eren grinned. Baby steps. It would take baby steps to get Levi over his fear of germs enough to use an outhouse like a regular person, but at least it was a step in the right direction.


	3. You are my Sunshine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even Humanity's Strongest isn't immortal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, this does have a tiny bit of character death but it's not violent so... I took a creative license to the age gap because Levi is about 80 in this, and a 15-year age gap would make Eren 65, and that just didn't seem right; so Eren is only 5 years younger than Levi. I know this is short, but it didn't seem right any longer.

Eren and Levi sat in the hospital room, Levi bedridden, and Eren in the visitor's chair next to him. The glory days of the two men were over- the Titans defeated, humanity saved. They had led a wonderful, peaceful life after humanity's victory, but now they were old; and Levi had become ill.

The heart monitor beside Levi beeped weakly, following Humanity's Strongest's heartbeat.  
"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy, when skies are grey. You'll never know, dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away," Eren sang quietly, the lyrics coming to him as he remembered the song his mother once sang to him as a child.

"The other night, dear, when I lay sleeping, I dreamt I held you in my arms. When I awoke, dear, I was mistaken, so I hung my head and cried," Levi joined in.

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy, when skies are grey. You'll never know, dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away," The two loves sang quietly, tears running ceaselessly down Eren's face, and dripping on the floor. "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy, when skies are grey. You'll never know, dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away, please don't take my sunshine away, please don't take my sunshine away..." Levi smiled up at Eren, love shining in his eyes. "I love you, brat." The heart monitor gave a long, loud beep.

The sound of Eren's pain-filled scream echoed around the entire hospital.


	4. Shopping in Hell

**10:40**

  


Levi frowned as he went over the grocery list.  _ Milk, eggs, condoms, bread, lube- lube? _ His scowl deepened.  _ Condoms and lube… I don’t remember putting those on here! _ Upon further inspection, the corporal noticed the difference in handwriting.  _ Loopy, just like its owner. _

  


As if summoned by his thoughts, Hange burst through the door, a maniacal grin plastered to their face and a panicked Eren in tow. “Leviiiii…!” The squad leader was basically bouncing on the balls of their feet, “Levi! Is Eren busy this afternoon? I have an experiment I’d like to do regarding his fine motor skills after the regrowth of a limb- oh, is that a shopping list?” Levi resisted the urge to growl in exasperation as he watched the young scout struggling to wrench his arm from Hange’s iron-strong grip.

  


“Yes, as a matter of fact, it is. Good to see those glasses are good for something, shitty four-eyes. And yes, as a second matter of fact, Eren is busy this afternoon too,” Eren visibly deflated with a relieved sigh, “He’s helping me shop.” Levi was certain that if it were possible, Hange’s ears would have perked up.  _ Oh no. _ “Saaaaaaay… since Eren’s busy this afternoon, I’m not. Mind if I… tag along?” Levi groaned.  _ So much for this shopping trip going quickly. If I’m not careful, the expeditions outside the walls may not be the only expeditions with casualties. _ “Yes, I do mind, very much so.”

  


“Great!” Hange exclaimed, “I’ll be back at, say, twelve hundred hours?” 

_  
_

The ravenette pinched the bridge of his nose. _ Spectacular, I can already feel the migraine. _

  


**11:30**

  


Levi sighed as footsteps echoed behind him in the hall.  _ What now? _   “Corporal!” Eren called as Levi turned to look at him, “Wait!” 

“What, Jaeger?” The boy blushed, “Thank you for saving me from Hange, sir. As much as I like helping them, I really don’t like having my limbs chopped off.” Levi snorted and rolled his eyes, “Who does?” 

  


Eren let out a small huff of laughter and the corner of the corporal’s mouth twitched in a small half-smile, “Now go get your horse tacked up and ready to go, you shitty brat. We leave in half an hour.” 

  


“Yes sir!” Eren saluted and ran off.

  


**12:00**

  


“Leviii! I’m ready!” Eren jumped at the bang of the door handle slamming against the wall as Hange nearly threw the door off its hinges, “Let’s go!” Levi glowered at the overly-excited squad leader. “Shitty glasses, if you just put a dent in my office wall, I’ll-” the clearly angry corporal never got a chance to finish his threat as Hange slung an arm over his shoulder with a toothy grin. In his peripheral vision, the ravenette watched a nervous Eren slowly backing away.  _ At least one of them is scared of me. Too bad it’s the wrong one. _ “Come on Corporal Shorty! Let’s get goin’!”

  


Eren winced at the resounding smack Hange received to the back of their head.

  


**12:20**

  


It was Levi’s turn to wince as he watched his companions sprint around the market like small children.  _ Dear gods… Humanity’s Strongest has been reduced to Humanity’s strongest babysitter. Erwin would be laughing his ass off if he knew. How did I get stuck on grocery duty anyway?! _

  


“Levi!  _ Levi! _ ” Hange’s urgent shouts drew the petite man’s attention.  _ Oh shit, what have they gotten into now? _ “It’s terrible!”  _ Eren?  _ Levi took off at a sprint to find his two subordinates who had disappeared into the market aisles.  _ Fuck, I swear if Eren gets hurt because Hange got him involved in something, I’ll throw them to the titans. Although, they’d probably like that. _

  


Caught in his thoughts, Levi didn’t stop in time and crashed into Eren mid-aisle with a surprised yelp. The corporal landed on top of the young scout, accidentally pinning him to the ground. They lay there for a moment, staring into each other’s eyes, until a wolf whistle broke the moment, “Wow, boys, not that I don’t ship it, but Levi? This is an emergency!” The result was much scuffling on Eren’s part and the brunette’s face burst into an odd shade of crimson to match the lighter shade of pink that dusted the older man’s face as he scrambled off of the titan shifter’s lap. “S-shut up!” Levi blurted out.  _ Shit, did I just stutter? Now I’ve done it, I’ll be questioned ‘til dawn. _ “What could it possibly be, four-eyes?” 

  


Hange didn’t respond verbally, instead shoving a box into his face. “Corporal Ravioli, it’s your  _ brethren! _ ” Levi’s brow arched in confusion.  _ What…? Oh, a box of frozen ravioli- ravioli?! _

  


“ _ Hange _ ,” Levi’s voice was low, “ _ that was a stupid fucking initiation prank pulled by Erwin. My name is not Rivaille, and it’s certainly not  _ **_Ravioli!_ ** ” Hange cackled as Eren dramatically pretended to fall the floor, yelling, “Woe is me! Corporal’s family!” before sobbing into his hands. Hange ran to him, pulling him into a hug, trying to soothe him just as dramatically, “It will be ok, my child! Don’t worry! We will be there to support-” Levi’s left foot landed on Eren’s head while his right hand pulled on Hange’s ponytail. 

  


“Get up or I’m leaving you two here.”

  


**12:40**

  


“Four-eyes, get that out of the basket.”

  


“But  _ Leeeeviiiii _ …”

  


“Forget it. No.  _ Jaeger! _ ” 

  


“Aw, please Heichou?”

  


“No! Shitty glasses, put those damn chips back-”

  


“But Levi, I  _ need _ them to  _ live! _ ”

  


Levi levelled the most frightening glare he could muster up in their direction, “Then  _ die. _ Put them back. I’m not paying for that shit.” Hange flinched and had the good sense to put the bag back. Levi turned around to see Eren putting the cookies right back into the basket. The boy blinked back at him, his big doe eyes gleaming just a little too innocently as his cheeks blushed a light pink and his teeth worried his bottom lip.  _ Ah fuck, he’s cute. _ However, the spell broke as soon as Eren dropped the cookies into the basket, the sensation of the added weight pulling the older man back to reality. A muscle in his jaw tightened and he reached down into the cart to grab the box. A yelp and the thud of cardboard hitting flesh signalled the cookie box nailing Eren right in the forehead.

  


Levi spun around on his heel.  _ Do not go back and promise to buy him those fucking cookies to cheer him up! It will only reinforce bad behaviour! _

  


**13:00**

  


“Heichou?” Eren jogged to catch up with Levi, “May I go to the bathroom?” Levi waved his hand dismissively, “Go take a shit and hurry back.” Eren scurried away.

  


**13:05**

  


A loud boom and a flash of light in the direction of the bathroom area caught Levi and Hange’s attention.  _ Please, gods  _ fucking _ help me, tell me that  _ isn’t  _ Er- _ The corporal’s thoughts were cut off as Eren’s titan form rose into the air, looking very cramped and uncomfortable as he tried to keep from accidentally breaking anything.  _ Damn it all to hell, Eren! _ The ravenette threw the basket at Hange, “ _ Hold this! _ ” He took off towards Eren. The squad leader chased after him, a wild gleam in their eyes as they called out for him to wait.

  


Levi skidded to halt, pushing through the small crowd as he stalked over to the familiar titan.

  


“EREN  _ FUCKING  _ JAEGER!”

  


A low whine issued forth from the titan’s throat as his pointed ears drooped in an apology. “Oh, Levi,” Hange whispered behind him, “he sounds like he’s gonna cry.”

  


“U-um… Sir?” Levi wheeled around and glared at the kid who was clearly being threatened into talking to him, “Uh, we’re going to h-have to ask you t-to take your… t-titan… and leave…”

  


“The fuck do you think I’m doing?” Levi barked and the kid jumped. Levi turned back to Eren. “Jaeger,  _ do not make me get this shirt dirty!  _ Get out of there,  _ now! _ I know you can, I’ve seen you do it by yourself before!”

  


“Sir!”  _ Great. A scene with civilians, just what they Survey Corps needs. _ “You need to leave!” The corporal spun and stormed over to the grocer. “I’m fucking working on it! I can’t go marching down the street with a goddamn titan, can I?!” The grocer frowned, “Sir, that’s not my problem. Take your titan-” he cut off and his eyes fixed on a point over Levi’s shoulder as there were two loud thumps. Suddenly, Hange was on the ground laughing and Levi could feel hot breath on his back.  _ Don’t tell me… _ Levi turned to Eren, who was in a ball on his hands and knees. His ears were pinned back to his skull as he let out soft whines, and he was clearly trying to make himself as small as possible. 

  


Hange came up behind the grocer, still giggling slightly, “Can’t you see you’re scaring Eren? He doesn’t like it when people yell at him!” Eren poked his head out from around Levi and glared at Hange. 

  


“Yes, Eren, I’m sorry,” they said soothingly as Eren went back to crouching behind Levi, “I know, it’s not funny that you’re scared. But it is kind of funny to see a titan hiding behind someone as short as Levi!” 

  


Anything else they would have said was silenced by the power of the glare that was sent their way, this time from both Eren and Levi.

  


**13:20**

  


Levi’s thoughts consisted solely of every explicit word he knew as they left the store, an embarrassed Eren in tow, as Hanji skipped ahead.

  


Levi groaned. “Heichou?” The young scout’s timid voice reached Levi’s ears, “Are you ok?” The corporal held back a growl. “No. Shit, kid, what even happened in there?” 

  


“I’m sorry, sir,” the brunette stopped, his head down, “I slipped and fell and bit my lip. It was accident, sir.” Levi’s heart dropped as Eren’s voice wavered.  _ He’s on the edge of tears, isn’t he. _ He grabbed the younger boy’s chin and pulled it up. Sure enough, tear-filled amber eyes greeted the ravenette’s own slate ones, “Don’t cry, Jaeger, I’m bad with crying brats.” Eren sniffed and blinked, trying to keep the tears in. Levi let go of Eren’s chin and took his hand, giving it a quick squeeze, “Let’s go get some cookies from the bakery down the street, brat.” They began to walk towards the bakery as Levi called out for Hange to come with them.

  


No one commented on the way Levi and Eren held hands, or the identical blushes on their faces.

  
  
  


**_Bonus:_ **

  


Erwin and Armin walked into the market. 

  


“Commander, isn’t that Eren? Oh it’s Squad Leader Hange and Corporal Levi too!” Armin didn’t notice the taller man tense up. “Ere- mmmph!” Erwin’s hand slapped over Armin’s mouth as he leaned down to whisper in the younger man’s ear, “Never. Shop. With. Them.”

  


Armin looked up, confusion written across his face, “Why?” Erwin’s eyes glazed over and he stared into the distance. “Commander?” Armin prompted. 

  


“Trust me, Armin. We’re leaving now, before they see us.” 

  


They were about twenty paces away when Eren’s titan form exploded into existence.

  


“Because things like that always happen,” Erwin sighed, “another PR nightmare. Just what I needed.”


	5. Five times Levi was an asshole to Erwin and the one time Erwin got even

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a short 5 + 1 collection featuring Levi acting like an asshole cat and Erwin being 100% done.

 

 

**I.**

 

Two men sat in the commander’s office, both sipping black tea, the shorter tapping his foot and glaring at the taller, who was hunched over his desk, doing paperwork.

 

“Erwin.” 

 

The blonde didn’t look as he answered, “Not now, Levi.”

 

“ _ Erwin. _ ”

 

There was a hint of annoyance in Erwin’s voice as he repeated, “ _ Not now, _ Levi.”

 

“ **_Erwin._ ** ”

 

This time, Erwin didn’t even dignify the ravenette with a response.

 

_ Crash,  _ went Erwin’s teacup. Erwin shot out of his seat and slammed his hands on his desk.

 

“ _ LEVI!” _

 

Levi looked completely unconcerned as he looked a steaming Erwin straight in the eye and deadpanned, “Maybe you should have listened to me the first time.”

 

**II.**

 

_ Fwip _ . A piece of paper went from the ‘not done’ stack to the ‘done’ stack.

 

“Erwin. Pay attention to me.” Erwin’s brow twitched as his pen flew across the form. His corporal had been bugging him incessantly for the past forty-five minutes, and the large man was slowly losing patience.

 

“Levi, this report is due to Zackly in two days. I don’t have time for this.”  _ Fwip _ . Another page done. Levi fell silent as he watched Erwin work, and Erwin sighed in relief.

 

That relief lasted exactly twenty minutes.

 

“ _ Erwin. _ ”

 

In hindsight, Erwin should have known that completely ignoring Levi completely was a bad idea. In hindsight, Erwin shouldn’t have left such a large stack of paper so close to the edge. In hindsight, Erwin should have done a lot of things differently.

 

_ Fwump. _ Erwin’s stack of finished pages hit the ground, papers scattering everywhere. He glared at Levi’s hand, the offending appendage still resting in the spot where the papers once sat. A frustrated growl rose up from the commander's throat, “Are you aware that it took me an hour and fifteen minutes to get this far?” Levi shrugged.

 

“Too bad. Don’t ignore me next time.”

 

There was a nearly audible snap as Erwin finally lost his last shred of patience. “ _ Get. Out. Of. My. Office.” _

 

**III.**

 

Erwin blinked, hoping that the scene before him was some caffeine-induced hallucination. He blinked again. ‘ _ Nope, he’s still there,’ _ Erwin frowned, ‘ _ I need to start locking my office door.’ _ “Levi.” Levi looked up.

 

“Get off my desk. Now.” The commander’s voice brooked no argument as he stood in the doorway, arms crossed. Levi stuck his tongue out and rolled over, crinkling Erwin’s pile of expedition records. ‘ _ What is he, a cat?’ _

 

Erwin strode over, scooped Levi up under his arms, and placed the corporal on the floor. As the ravenette walked off, Erwin looked at the piles of papers Levi had been lying on. ‘ _ Ruined. All of them.’ _ Erwin ran his hands through his hair. 

 

**IV.**

 

_ Tap. _ A small hand appeared on top of Erwin’s desk.  _ Tap, tap. Tap. _ “Levi, stop.”  _ Tap. _ Levi blatantly ignored him.

 

_ Bat. Swish, swish. _ Levi’s hand chased after Erwin’s quill. “Levi, no.”  Erwin gently slapped Levi’s hand away from the feather.

 

_ Drag. Draaaag.  _ “Erwin, this is important. It’s about Eren.” Erwin’s inkwell was slowly being pulled across the strategic map he was working on. Sighing, Erwin pulled out the spray bottle he had obtained from Hange and spritzed Levi’s face. The short man sputtered as Erwin calmly responded, “Levi, your love life is of no concern to me.”

 

_ Splat! _ Ink spilled all over Erwin’s map and Levi stood, a scowl carved into his face. “That map was important and ink is expensive!”

 

The corporal wheeled around and glared at Erwin, “Fuck you!”

 

**V.**

 

Erwin stopped as his hand bumped something warm. Breaking out of his trance, the large blonde recognised Levi’s tiny hand.

 

“Levi, move your hand.”

 

“Make Hange leave me alone.”

 

Erwin sighed, “We both know I can’t make them do anything.” Snorting, Levi frowned, “Order them to.” 

 

“Just move your hand.”

 

“No.”

 

“Levi…”

 

“Erwin…”

 

Erwin lifted his hand and continued writing only to bump into Levi again.

 

“Move your hand; that’s an  _ order _ , Levi.”

 

“I don’t care.”

 

Before he knew what was happening, Levi was slung over Erwin’s shoulder, only to be dropped on the ground outside his office door.  _ Click. Click. _ Levi jiggled the knob. It was locked.

 

“ _ Leviiiii! _ ” Hange’s voice echoed down the hall. Levi frantically knocked on the door, “Erwin!  _ Erwin, you asshole, let me in! _ ”

 

“No.” Erwin’s voice drifted through the door.

 

Levi’s begging was soon silenced as Hange grabbed his arm and dragged him away.

 

**+I**

 

Levi stepped back, admiring his handiwork.

 

“Nothing like a clean floor.” The corporal sighed happily. There was a knock on the door, and Erwin stuck his head in. “Levi, can I speak with you?” Levi’s eyes widened, “No, don’t you fucking dare come in with those boots on-” The blonde stomped in, boots covered in mud, “Oh, sorry, I didn’t realise you were busy,” he said, in a voice that held no apology and made it abundantly clear that Erwin knew exactly what he was doing.

 

Shaking, Levi looked up at his commanding officer with murder in his eyes. Erwin smiled benignly, “I’ll come back another time.” He turned and left, leaving another muddy trail of footprints on the previously spotless floor.

 

“ **_The hell you will! Erwin, get back here and clean this shit up!_ ** ” Levi’s enraged voice rang out into the hall.

 

Erwin grinned.


End file.
